I appreciate the links. But I was well aware of those links. My original question was connect in the SAME jre process as MATLAB is running. When I call connect (as described in the links you provided) it returns an error indicating you can not initialize the engine from the same process.
As another issue, my computer can NEVER find a shared engine on my local machine from a different process. (like the documentation in the links you provided) Virus scanner, firewall issues????? (which only my company has control over)
So I can successfully share an engine within MATLAB or from Java but I can NEVER get another process to use it. (never finds a running engine). So my work around was to just run inside of MATLAB and connect to the engine already instantiated, but there doesn't seem to be a way to do that.